its pretty scary to experience:

sudden chest pain, continuing all week long
- thankfully was just a sign of panic attack, which i suffered since the very beginning of my settlement here. and it got worse when all seniors went outstation for assignments, leaving the juniors like cacing kepanasan (me especially, others seem pretty calm attending events and typing stuff - writers, you know)
headaches that felt like some tentacles trying to grip your head
*based on my quick google research la...

feeling of small ball stuck in your throat
- strepsils and non icy drinks

inconsistent temperature of the body
- nonstop water flow + barley

headache and fever
- well theres only one quick and hassle free solution : panadol. done.

i feel weak not doing any physical activities. i dont have the time, and its not an excuse, its reality. realitys a bitch. or maybe im still not able to plan my time well with this new roller-coaster schedule of mine.

im feeling some muscle loss and decreasing level metabolism. im pretty sure its true, not just some psychological effects of a sudden withdrawal from fitness. what made matters worse, i broke the ultimate rule in healthy eating: late night eating...by having stuff like burger tepi jalan (yum yum by the way, paramount 7/11), leftover birthday cake (cheese furthermore, oh damn), cookies and anything my eyes set foot on. ah well. i basically sleep away the worries away.

tomorrow the fasting period starts and im pretty excited, not just on fighting temptations, but having those peaceful and calm moments which i normally felt every Ramadhan.

I hope whatever anger in me will slowly be gone by the end of next month, and hopefully some flabs as well :P

till next bebel post,
ibster

Emonity

Sadness is todays theme. Im all blue.

Im sad to leave behind comfort and happiness.
Im sad to abandon cronies of different mindsets and views.

But its just one of those sacrifices that I do to pursue a risk.

I didnt realized the impact I had on others. I was not expecting tear droplets from others to run down but it did. I didnt realized how sad I was until after I watch the video made by the senior dedicated to me. Gosh. Sweet of him and the gang.

Fortunately for me, I watched it alone, quietly in the empty gallery. I knew I couldnt watch it in the workplace itself, or else Ill have a complicated time trying to cover up my emotions. I can be expressive by the way.

Thank god it ended greatly, in good terms.

Me missing you people already.

Sappy me,
theIbster

Hell to yeah.

According to ONTD, Beauty and The Geek and Project Runway is coming up as well. Between the two, Geek is what Im looking forward to the most. My dream of having a gender twist on the show became a reality...partly.

In addition of having hot chicas being paired with geeky nerds (nerdy geeks?), CW added in a new pair consisting of a good looking guy and a geeky girl. How exciting can that be? Cant wait. Himbo and girl nerd...coolios. Hopefully the report is true, cus it might be a promo picture or publicity stunt.

Competition among reality tv shows are great! Survivor taking on China, Bravo to come up with a new model search, Geek having this twist...ah, Im sexcited (short for so excited, no?) to see what tricks ANTM and Project Runway have up on their sleeves...

Too bad new shows like Pirate Master (got cancelled midway, wtf!?) and On The Lot took the summer slots. I guess TV networks were taking risk by relying on Burnett's name. I think Lot is good, but I do find myself wanting to fast forward everything when watching it. SYTYCanDance survived though, and is picked up fo another season, so yeay to that. Americas Next Top Producers, although sounds interesting, I just couldnt watch due to time constraints (and the GBs are running out, lol) So that I forego. I dont think its a hit show anyway.

As fake as some shows can be, Im still loving it, solely for its "entertainment" factor. Thats what TV is for. Thats why sometimes I dont really think much of the dramas and whatnot going on. It should be watched without much analyzing. We should just layan...

Reality tv...me loving it, muy mucho!

*I hope MTV will continue Dancelife. The Hills is getting ridiculous...I cant stand seeing rich brats whining about stuff and making dramas out of small things. But like I said, its fun to watch.

I sound like I have no life. Partly true.

Me like this sport!

Im speechless too. Inspiring.

Me Picture Puking (malas-est editing, yet)

im in my own prison. no cell mate. just me alone. i want to pull a scofield. but i feel like theres no one around to assist. but even if there are few, its useless. they wont understand the long explanation. so fcuk it. one man show then. what else can i say.

There will come a time when I turn myself into a sucker for pure pop shit. Sue my commercial ass if you want but this shit is awesome. Jaemy, I think you might like this. Scott Simon's rendition itself rocked my socks, but this is another thing. Dont pay attention to the video...just the sound.

Gosh, I love renditions and remakes from another genre. They're always better than the original.

Extreme Motivation

I went to the seminar by Wong Hong. Great. Learned a couple of new stuff here and there. Intimidated, kind of, towards the other attendees. Most of them had great bodies and there I was aiming to just getting myself fit and leaner, as opposed to them, who, mostly aim to be big ass giants like the speaker. Overall it was alright.